Squash Isn't for Sissies

Okay, check this out. If you or family members like acorn squash (if not, delete this immediately, it just won't get any better from this point on) here is a stuffed squash recipe for you.

Preheat oven to 350. Split squash on latitudinal axis (Oh, I forgot, some of you are challenged- that means cut it in two crossways). Extract mush and seeds from inside. Cut off just enough of the outside cap so the halves lie flat in a glass baking dish (If they fall over, this gets messy). Put in oven (in baking dish). This gives you about 1/2 hour to do everything else, so tighten your jock strap, you're gonna be busy).

On low heat, lightly brown some ground pork (figure a chunk about two thirds the size of a playing card for each squash halve) and while that starts to brown with some salt and pepper to taste, start cooking some 5 minute white or brown rice. Depending upon how many halves your are making, figure half a cup of cooked rice per whole squash. While that cooks, shred (I said shred, not chop, if you chop, you're gonna be sorry later) a peeled and cored Braeburn apple, dump it in the skillet. Next grind some Fennel seed with a mortar and pestle so you bust up the seeds (maybe half a tsp per squash halve)(If you don't have a mortar and pestle use a hammer or some vice-grips) dump it in the skillet with a tablespoon of olive oil. Next, finely chop some sweet yellow onion (you figure it out, do I have to explain everything!!!???) dump it in the skillet. Sprinkle in some parsley . . . . . . . (I hope you've been stirring this mess!!!) Turn down the heat under the skillet while you get out some plain dried bread crumbs and shred some Parmesan cheese, or use the powdered stuff you throw on spaghetti.

By now about 1/2 hour has gone by. Take the squash from the oven (use pot holders, try to get through one of these adventures without 2nd degree burns) put the mix from the skillet into a big bowl. Pour in some bread crumbs (not a lot, its just fill). Pour in the rice. Now with a wooden spoon, a paint paddle, or a lofted 5 iron, stir it all up (yeah, you could use your hands but you'll burn the crap out of your fingers - I already tried that - I yelled so loud one of the dogs peed on the floor). Now pack the mix into the squash cups, so that each one is heaped but not dropping all over everywhere.

Sprinkle on the Parmesan. I also drizzled some melted butter over each one, but you don't have to. Back into the oven for 30 minutes. Use a toothpick to check your squash, it should be done by then.

Serve with a medium dry white wine.

Boo took two experimental bites last night and said, "You know, you scare me sometimes" Then she gobbled up the whole thing.